Polygonal graphics may indeed be the future of videogames. Not all 3-D games, however, are destined for greatness. Developed by a team of zombified mole people, Club Drive looks and plays like an unfinished prototype of 1989's Hard Drivin'. Imagine sitting behind the wheel of a block of cheese, driving through lands as vibrant as a crumpled cardboard box. Though it brags of its revolutionary four track layout and diverse environments, this Jaguar exclusive may as well take place inside a boxy brown warehouse. Chunky graphics aside, this title is equally hideous in the gameplay department.
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| Guide the Cheese to the Square! |
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Behold! The Power of 64-Bits! |
Racing around this dilapidated dung heap is unbearably arduous. Your vehicle seems coated in molasses if the controller delay is any indication. Handling is worse than my uncle's broken-down Yugo, and the physics are all but nonexistent. Your car may just flip and convulse at random, rendering the game unplayable. Split-screen racing in two-player mode fails to break up the monotony seen in the objective-less one-player setting, aside from laughing with a friend about how awful Club Drive manages to be. Do not expect much in the way of music and sounds, either. We're convinced a fruit fly provided the engine sound fx. The Jag may have made progress developing innovative titles, but this one is to be avoided like the plague.
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PPM Reviewers will routinely designate their official Slime of the Season. 
