Who Shall Be Crowned The Latest Slime Winner?
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 PPM Reviewers will routinely designate their official Slime of the Season.
Have you ever played a game so thoroughly rotten, so ugly and bad, and just so downright gross that you'd rather just toss it in the trash? We've dedicated this section exclusively for those nasty little buggers, and to those games we award our dishonorable Slime of the Season. There is no higher glory for electronic scum than being showcased as a Slime Award recipient.
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THE SPRING '95 SLIME AWARD GOES TO......!
 
Club Drive on JAGUAR
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Polygonal graphics may indeed be the future of videogames. Not all 3-D games, however, are destined for greatness. Developed by a team of zombified mole people, Club Drive looks and plays like an unfinished prototype of 1989's Hard Drivin'. Imagine sitting behind the wheel of a block of cheese, driving through lands as vibrant as a crumpled cardboard box. Though it brags of its revolutionary four track layout and diverse environments, this Jaguar exclusive may as well take place inside a boxy brown warehouse. Chunky graphics aside, this title is equally hideous in the gameplay department.
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| Guide the Cheese to the Square! |
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Behold! The Power of 64-Bits! |
Racing around this dilapidated dung heap is unbearably arduous. Your vehicle seems coated in molasses if the controller delay is any indication. Handling is worse than my uncle's broken-down Yugo, and the physics are all but nonexistent. Your car may just flip and convulse at random, rendering the game unplayable. Split-screen racing in two-player mode fails to break up the monotony seen in the objective-less one-player setting, aside from laughing with a friend about how awful Club Drive manages to be. Do not expect much in the way of music and sounds, either. We're convinced a fruit fly provided the engine sound fx. The Jag may have made progress developing innovative titles, but this one is to be avoided like the plague.
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